[Correspondents Abdul Moiz and Abhilasha Dafria]
As promised and told, fellow goners, tonight we take sports journalism to an entire new level. The monthly edition gives a round-up of all you needed to know of AFCPL this month. We have got it all. From the rumours which circulated to the inter team fights that never took centre stage. Heres your monthly compilation of
what happened, what is happening, what was to happen, and what never happened but could have happened.
Complicated? Well the seasons just started!
The Transfer Round up:
The transfer season finished on the 31st of August and there you go with the round up:
Vacas goon to Raiders.
By “I am as young as your father Luke!”
In a startling piece of business by player and chief executive “Moiz” of the club “Goonraiders”, the chief executive has done the impossible by convincing Vacas Areph, the banker, to join his team. Left Centre-back Vacas Areph, for all his reputation as a hater of this league, obliged to the brilliant offer on the table and signed a lucrative 5 million Zimbabwean dollar long-term contract. It has to be seen whether the widely known Dictator can dictate Goonraiders to success.
Vacas Areph or The Joker or The Dictator was never seen showing the slightest interest in the game before this move. He has come under heavy criticism from the players and managers of the AFCPL but for reasons which he could do nothing about. Having a reputation of a legend in the eyes of some while some loathing him to the degree of insaneness his move was expected to become a big talk. His age remains a concern but in his interview to The Gun, he said
“I am only 25 right now.There are players who are beyond their coaching years and are playing so why cant I?”
In a reply to the question to how will he react to the abuses the players throw at him, he said
“It wasn’t I who had cut the taxes from their bank accounts if they still find me to blame,I have two words for them *mouths those unspeakable words*”
Vacas Areph is already a legend albeit a good one or a bad one but his signing means one thing is going to happen for sure.No,no don’t get me wrong,it wont make the game much interesting,it will increase the average age of the players playing.
It is also rumoured that fellow team-mates had tiffs with the player during his arrival party as he has threatened to ban all those who used any other language that English in the team.
It remains to be seen whether his buttons and off field antics will dominate or would his skills take centre stage for once.
From The Arsenalists to Evolutionary Gunners
By “I will sleep only after the transfer window is closed”
Forward Fazal signed for Evolutionary Gunners on a free transfer. Fazal garnered a lot of interest but not before going through a period with interviews having the same few words “No one bid for me?”.A lot of the teams did not show any interest in him saying that its only the transfer window which wakes him up but Abdul Rehman determined to get someone, to get the supposedly non-existent “One man team” tag out of the way offered him a lucrative deal.Goonraiders did ask to join him too and even that “free of cost” [8)] but he signed for the former telling Goonraiders “Next transfer season-surely”.
Fazal has been a note worthy name but his reputation as a moody player would not help EG. With already a high tempered captain and a munna in the team, it seems EG signed him to complete the set. The building reputation of Fazal now being a mercenary wont help them either.
This signing can have a negative impact on the team but if the diminutive captain can keep him fit for the season, then he might just turn out to be the buy of the year. For now he resembles someone which Cesc Pistols idolize.
Old is Gold:Felipe
By “Never Fight with Mr.Polite”
In one of the most scintillating piece of business, Felipe Hassan, a noteworthy name in the list of “polite people” signed a deal worth 100 million yens to astonish many viewers and players alike. The master mind behind the deal appears to be Ankur Dalal, the captain and manager of Arsenalists, as he was ecstatic while announcing the signing of the young Englishman who would replace the Forward who left for EG earler this season. However the idea of signing Felipe might have been given by the “Teddy Sheringham” of the team since Ankur’s ecstatic statement showed signs of ‘pleasant surprise’ as well. Its noteworthy that Felipe has a brilliant reputation as a gentle man and one who takes defeat on the chin making him one of the most craved and loved people around. When tribalhoofball caught up with him he replied:
“I am very happy to join The Arsenalists. They are a team which everyone respects and I love people who are respected as those who give respect are the ones who get respected. I will give my 100% for the team on every matchday and would try to steer them to the fair play award. Its a pleasure to be a part of such a brilliant league.”
When asked about the prospect of joining the team whose average age is 50,he simply said
“Old is gold”
On being asked why he joined the league when he had so many other commitments he said
“Try and fail, but never fail to try.”
The ‘politely’ correct English striker is known for his ‘love one love all’ interviews that end up with journalists trying to persuade him to marry their daughter.
Mitul: a Wengaboy, Gautham: a pirate
By “Fraands corner”
In a transfer which both teams would be happy with, striker Mitul signed for the everstruggling Wengaboys while Gautham in a player exchange deal went to Pirates of the Emirates. Both players come with some pedigree but with Mitul yet to show the potential he has and Gautham yet to live upto his name, this transfer has a lot of ifs and maybes.
Mitul who never enjoyed life at the Pirates sighed relief on joining Wengaboys and was happy to have fraandship with interim club captain Saumeet. It was rumoured that Mitul, who was much know for the controversies surrounding his chain of 5star hotels had a tradition of treating his teammates at his hotel and was often offended when Pirate captain AdDy refused to have anything on account of his mask. In an emotional outburst Mitil said “Such arrogance kills the team-building. Its just a coffee break… not like I was asking for a lip-lock!”
Gautham however was happy enough to sing the “ho-ho” song of the Pirates and refused to comment on his captain.
Kunal signs for Wengaboys
By “Capiche”
Striker Kunal after heavy insisting by a nerd captain accepted a contract whose worth remained undisclosed. Kunal, who had come in as a relative stranger has proved to have good knowledge of the game and a lot of the teams will struggle to cope up with his predatory instinct. A very good piece of business by Wengaboys but like their comparative brothers, they look good on paper and bad on the standings.
Paper Talk:
Gunrunners are on the verge of signing Ohio striker Amey Kelkar(Bore.com)
Gunrunners are trying their best efforts to sign the mega-striker. They have tabled a contract and look set to wrap up the deal within 15 hours. Do you think Amey will sign for Gunrunners?
Wengaboys are showing great interest in Amey Kelkar(The Daily Phail)
Wengaboys are looking to end their spending spree by hijacking the Gunrunners deal for Amey Kelkar.The Ohio striker seems the top on the shortlist of manger and defensive midfielder Saumeet as he looks to complete the set of incredible debaters. But with Amey in squad, there are chances of less football on ground and more group-discussions. Do you think Wengaboys should sign Amey?
Till the next transfer season,I am hibernating:Fazal(The Gun)
As expected, forward Fazal has told EG that he is injured till January and hence will not be available for selection.It seems that Fazal is not happy at the way EG have treated his injury.Is Fazal trying to join another team by faking an injury?
Amey Kelkar rejects the contract of Gunrunners despite the chief executive’s pleas(Sigh Sports)
Sigh sports resources understand that Amey Kelkar has rejected the offer of Gunrunners despite repeated calls by the chief executive and striker Abhilasha Dafria. Gunrunners were looking up to Amey to fulfill their striking needs but it looks now that all hopes depend on left winger Sairam now. Has Amey done the right thing by breaking Abhilasha’s heart?
Cesc-pistols captain sets his priorities(The Retardian):
The Retardian claimed that Cesc Pistol Captain and RCB Asjad Saleemi was seen roaring in the dressing room after a Manchester City player scored a goal.This incident has certainly not gone down well with Pistolites who have claimed a written apology from the captain. Do you think Asjad should listen to his team-mates or his innervoice that just wouldn’t let go?
Arsenalists in search of another oldie(The Spoiler)
Arsenalists it seems are trying to get the upper hand in terms of average age by trying to find someone of the age of 110 years old.In recent times,CP and Goonraiders have tried to match Arsenalists in this competition.Is Akshay not enough?
Breaking news:
Dafria slams Amey Kelkar
In a startling revelation, Abhilasha Dafria of Gunrunners told reporters in a press conference on Thursday evening that Amey Kelkar was not as polite and gentle man as he seemed to be. She was furious with him after Amey did not respond to the plea of Gunrunners to join them. She also told reporters that Sumanth Anchan of The Arsenalists had a similar view about the Ohio striker. She said that Amey was non-responsive through out the talks and seemed to ignore her.
Dafria has brewed some controversy as many people have a very good impression of Amey and some have already regarded Dafria’s interview to be extremely unprofessional.
The matter got uglier when Abhilasha Dafria, who served a week’s ban on her unethical lashing out, moved court. However, Amey Kelkar did not respond to the court’s perpetual notices, leading to Abhilasha, the defense lawyer, the prosecutor and the judge to unanimously file a bigger case against him.
No prize for a Surprise
Well this is just for the ones who like to get surprised. Eveytime we would come up with something a little different from the regular news and other rumours and the round ups, albeit analysis, post match reviews or a good healthy interview. For this edition we have………..
Tamie Red’taking a’nap Picks
The Predictor League season is just around the corner - and once again The AFCP Times will guide you through all of the twists and turns.
Will Oursenal P.C hold onto their title when the trend of last season says otherwise or will there be another name on the Predictor League trophy in December? Can Wengaboys gatecrash the top four after heavy spending or will we see another surprise name in contention for the Champions League spots?
Who will be scrapping it out at the bottom? Which summer transfer deals will provide the best value and which signings will we be laughing at by the end of the campaign?
We asked the Tamie to gaze into his crystal ball and give us his useless view on what we can expect in 2009/10
CHAMPIONS –The Arsenalists
They have had an excellent pre season and have made two good buys.They have bought experience with Akshay and politeness with Felipe and I wonder how they bought the two things which money can not buy. They are a good team with a good captain. I see a lot of teams being intimidated by the appearance of the two afore mentioned players on the field. It would be tough but they just might edge it.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SPOTS –Conflagooners,Goonraiders,Pirates of the Emirates
You might call me a fool but that’s what I am. Goonraiders though struggling have a good mix of youth and experience and have also made a brilliant signing of Vacas Areph. They have been a work in progress and should shine if things go according to play while Cornflakes are a good team with a very very devoted player in Nabil. They might be short on players but quality has no exchange. PoE like always would finish second.They are a good team with a completely pirated captain but somehow their life long supply of luck runs out right at the end.
FIFTH – Wengaboys
They would be there or there about come end of the season and I think that the new signings would make an impact.They have a good team with intelligent players but then again I feel they would just miss out on the CL spots,one reason might be a last match food poisoning.
SURPRISE PACKAGE – EG and GunRunners
They are the dark horses for me this season. You can never predict how they would perform but it seems that they have got hold of a good team and would certainly be a force to reckon with. It remains to be seen whether EG and GR would surprise us by being in the bottom 2 or the top 4.
GOING DOWN- Oursenal,Cesc Pistols
Oursenal have to go down this season.I see them following the trend and doing a Gog while Cesc Pistols have good players who can say a lot but can not perform.I see the castles crumble.
BEST BUY-Vacas Areph
Don’t get me wrong here,it was a difficult choice but be assured that he can solve the banker problems of Goonraiders plus his pedigree here can make a lot of players piss in their pants.He has to be the purchase of the season.
BONKERS BUY-Fazal
AR what were you thinking while buying this mercenary,I mean he looks to change clubs every transfer window though I might be horribly wrong.It might be Fazal showing me this come end of the year, but I doubt that he would be wearing a different club t-shirt till then. I sometimes think to myself, if not the silverware, maybe Fazal will be the only player who’ll have all the team jerseys to flaunt by the time he retires.
HOW HAS YOUR PRE-SEASON GONE?
I have been asking every one whether I am as bad as people tell me so and the replies have been positive.I tried kicking footballs too,but came up with a swollen mouth after the football hit a lady in an Arsenal shirt!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Post Match Analysis- 3
[By Abdul Moiz]
It was a massive week in the Predictor League and I must say we have taken our time to analyze it too.There were many shockers as Relegation'favorites' Gunners gunned down Oursenal while Conflagooners thought to be merciful towards the team which had been so devoted to the game that they had even revealed how they had practiced..Goonraiders did what their young wonder-kid was saying since match day 1 and that was to win a game.PoE and Gog settled for a draw as ex-Gog man did not want to get one over his previous team mate.Arsenalists showed that they are on their way towards becoming the “draw specialists”.
Groovers have little lottery at looters’ ship
Pirates of the Emirates 4 --4 Groovers of the Groove
The match was very much anticipated and it was time to reignite old rivalries or shall we say old friendships?Vinay who in a sensational move two seasons ago signed a lucrative one million Zimbabwean dollar deal with the pirates had to once again go through the pain of playing against a club which made him the player he is.The previous meetings suggested the game was a must watch and it didn’t disappoint.
Captain Paul had found it tough after having a season to remember about an year ago as the ones who ended up relegated last season put in a very good performance.It must be said that Vinay did try his best to make Gog oops PoE win the game but nothing was fruitful.A good last minute strike from Rohan was canceled out by a “mistake” by Vinay.Vinay has not had the best of times after his move and has remained on the sidelines for sometime now.AdDy was left fuming after the game while Paul was seen hugging Vinay a little more tightly!Both the teams look good bets to finish in the top4 this season though Gog have no reputable name to look up to if Paul gets injured.Anyways Vinay might just make himself available if …… ……………..!
Oursenal gunned down by road runners
Oursenal PC 1--Gunrunners 4
In all our previous analysis we have always pointed out that Oursenal seem to be following the same pattern followed by Gog last season.It seems that teams celebrate a bit too much after winning the league and in the case of Oursenal they won the European Cup too so it would certainly make things worse.Oursenal were disgraceful against the side of the ladies as Gunrunners had a field day against Rubin and co.Aditya gave a good start to Oursenal but as the home supporters started cheering for the lady on the opposite team,it appeared that Oursenal players joined in the crowd too as star striker Abhilasha Dafria struck two awesome vollies which incidentally struck the people in the stand.The goals however came from enthusiastic signing Sairam and the returning captain Eric to win Gunrunners their match of the championship.
Now GR can easily pack their bags and sleep while playing the DVD which was released soon after the game though as hard as it seems they would have to make a new one as the scoreline dispute even after Abhilasha tried everything she could to get it in her favor went Oursenal’s way and it ended 1-4 not 0-4.GR were appealing for the goal of Aditya to be disallowed saying he had romped over Sairam before striking the goal but the goal was never in doubt as Aditya had not even come close to Sairam let alone touch him before scoring the goal.
Cornflakes get eaten and eaten badly by firing Pistols
Conflagooners 0--3 Cesc Pistols
This had to come.Seeing the scoreline you might analyze that Cesc Pistols were too good but in reality the Cons never appeared on the field and even with that advantage and having an empty goal in front of them,CP scored only three goals and no doubt they were missing sitters and were getting offside(with no last man) when their captain idolizes the "God" of missing sitters and the creater of the term “offside”.The team captain of CP might say that the Cons didn’t appear due to the fear of Pistols firing bullets at them but the case just might be that the shit that those guns fire would have been too much for the Cons who for this reason might have thought it better to not appear at all rather than to play with shit lying around them.
It still raises questions about the character of the Cons player and their desire to win the league this season.This matchday gives indications which the Cons players would not like one bit.Controversial signing Marek started the game too even without having the work permit to play but did well in his position of goal keeper with Fakher trying his best to score an own goal.
The boys raided at home by the Goonraiders
Wengaboyz 3 -5 Goonraiders
It seems that there is a new rivalry building between these two clubs and it was evident before the kick off.Defensive midfielder Moiz and the ill captain Saumeet had quite a conversation before the match and it was a no brainer that the match would be fierce atleast and it was the case too.Goonraiders announced the signing of the season by capturing the Patrick Viera of the league aka Vacas Areph,though he did not start the match but his appearance on the bench was enough for Mitul to pass the ball into his own net only after a minute’s play.Wengaboys tried to be a little too careful in their approach by trying to seize the moment and striking the killer blow but it seems that the killer blow was struck against them and not by them as Moiz and Chinmay sealed the game by two 50 yard strikes which Kunal permitted to go into the net saying they were out of range to be caught.
It was a match of youthful exuberance versus the witty and clever minds and now we all know who came out on top.
One point evolution each for the table toppers
Arsenalists 5--Evolutionary Gunners 5
In a game of the table toppers,there was no point in asking what the result would be but the match itself was not boring at all.With regular goals being struck the game was a joy to behold.Arsenalists in a sensational move before the match told reporters that old signing Akshay had a role as good as Teddy Sheringham had in whichever club he is playing now.Nirvana started the game too but would be disappointed to see that none of the results go his way.
Arsenalists have always remained a strong team but after a terrific stop they have found bumps in a straight road.The match started with Felipe in the stands noticeably in an "I love old people" t-shirt.Arsenalists have found teams to be respectable to them but this time around they found no respect from their ex-striker Fazal as he struck a hat trick for the club he has found love for.Felipe was in tears after the match and signed up for them in order to let other teams win the game and show his sportsmanship.If EG keep this up they soon might taunt CP with something too.Arsenalists are showing that the old people at least would not let teams win if they cant win too.EG it seems have gone through a period of evolution and are now looking down upon their rivals CP.
If we have a look at the table, Oursenal it certainly seems are taking a leaf out of the book of Gog while Goonraiders and Gunrunners can now see the silver lining deeming the first two match days to be the darkest hours before dawn.EG and Arsenalists sit on top with AdDy and other pirates watching them with stealthy eyes.CP now it seems are mediocre which they once so famously tagged their fierce rivals with.With only three matchdays gone it is evident that this Predictor League would be one to remember.
Au revoir till then.
This is Abdul Moiz saying good bye to all who read this
It was a massive week in the Predictor League and I must say we have taken our time to analyze it too.There were many shockers as Relegation'favorites' Gunners gunned down Oursenal while Conflagooners thought to be merciful towards the team which had been so devoted to the game that they had even revealed how they had practiced..Goonraiders did what their young wonder-kid was saying since match day 1 and that was to win a game.PoE and Gog settled for a draw as ex-Gog man did not want to get one over his previous team mate.Arsenalists showed that they are on their way towards becoming the “draw specialists”.
Groovers have little lottery at looters’ ship
Pirates of the Emirates 4 --4 Groovers of the Groove
The match was very much anticipated and it was time to reignite old rivalries or shall we say old friendships?Vinay who in a sensational move two seasons ago signed a lucrative one million Zimbabwean dollar deal with the pirates had to once again go through the pain of playing against a club which made him the player he is.The previous meetings suggested the game was a must watch and it didn’t disappoint.
Captain Paul had found it tough after having a season to remember about an year ago as the ones who ended up relegated last season put in a very good performance.It must be said that Vinay did try his best to make Gog oops PoE win the game but nothing was fruitful.A good last minute strike from Rohan was canceled out by a “mistake” by Vinay.Vinay has not had the best of times after his move and has remained on the sidelines for sometime now.AdDy was left fuming after the game while Paul was seen hugging Vinay a little more tightly!Both the teams look good bets to finish in the top4 this season though Gog have no reputable name to look up to if Paul gets injured.Anyways Vinay might just make himself available if …… ……………..!
Oursenal gunned down by road runners
Oursenal PC 1--Gunrunners 4
In all our previous analysis we have always pointed out that Oursenal seem to be following the same pattern followed by Gog last season.It seems that teams celebrate a bit too much after winning the league and in the case of Oursenal they won the European Cup too so it would certainly make things worse.Oursenal were disgraceful against the side of the ladies as Gunrunners had a field day against Rubin and co.Aditya gave a good start to Oursenal but as the home supporters started cheering for the lady on the opposite team,it appeared that Oursenal players joined in the crowd too as star striker Abhilasha Dafria struck two awesome vollies which incidentally struck the people in the stand.The goals however came from enthusiastic signing Sairam and the returning captain Eric to win Gunrunners their match of the championship.
Now GR can easily pack their bags and sleep while playing the DVD which was released soon after the game though as hard as it seems they would have to make a new one as the scoreline dispute even after Abhilasha tried everything she could to get it in her favor went Oursenal’s way and it ended 1-4 not 0-4.GR were appealing for the goal of Aditya to be disallowed saying he had romped over Sairam before striking the goal but the goal was never in doubt as Aditya had not even come close to Sairam let alone touch him before scoring the goal.
Cornflakes get eaten and eaten badly by firing Pistols
Conflagooners 0--3 Cesc Pistols
This had to come.Seeing the scoreline you might analyze that Cesc Pistols were too good but in reality the Cons never appeared on the field and even with that advantage and having an empty goal in front of them,CP scored only three goals and no doubt they were missing sitters and were getting offside(with no last man) when their captain idolizes the "God" of missing sitters and the creater of the term “offside”.The team captain of CP might say that the Cons didn’t appear due to the fear of Pistols firing bullets at them but the case just might be that the shit that those guns fire would have been too much for the Cons who for this reason might have thought it better to not appear at all rather than to play with shit lying around them.
It still raises questions about the character of the Cons player and their desire to win the league this season.This matchday gives indications which the Cons players would not like one bit.Controversial signing Marek started the game too even without having the work permit to play but did well in his position of goal keeper with Fakher trying his best to score an own goal.
The boys raided at home by the Goonraiders
Wengaboyz 3 -5 Goonraiders
It seems that there is a new rivalry building between these two clubs and it was evident before the kick off.Defensive midfielder Moiz and the ill captain Saumeet had quite a conversation before the match and it was a no brainer that the match would be fierce atleast and it was the case too.Goonraiders announced the signing of the season by capturing the Patrick Viera of the league aka Vacas Areph,though he did not start the match but his appearance on the bench was enough for Mitul to pass the ball into his own net only after a minute’s play.Wengaboys tried to be a little too careful in their approach by trying to seize the moment and striking the killer blow but it seems that the killer blow was struck against them and not by them as Moiz and Chinmay sealed the game by two 50 yard strikes which Kunal permitted to go into the net saying they were out of range to be caught.
It was a match of youthful exuberance versus the witty and clever minds and now we all know who came out on top.
One point evolution each for the table toppers
Arsenalists 5--Evolutionary Gunners 5
In a game of the table toppers,there was no point in asking what the result would be but the match itself was not boring at all.With regular goals being struck the game was a joy to behold.Arsenalists in a sensational move before the match told reporters that old signing Akshay had a role as good as Teddy Sheringham had in whichever club he is playing now.Nirvana started the game too but would be disappointed to see that none of the results go his way.
Arsenalists have always remained a strong team but after a terrific stop they have found bumps in a straight road.The match started with Felipe in the stands noticeably in an "I love old people" t-shirt.Arsenalists have found teams to be respectable to them but this time around they found no respect from their ex-striker Fazal as he struck a hat trick for the club he has found love for.Felipe was in tears after the match and signed up for them in order to let other teams win the game and show his sportsmanship.If EG keep this up they soon might taunt CP with something too.Arsenalists are showing that the old people at least would not let teams win if they cant win too.EG it seems have gone through a period of evolution and are now looking down upon their rivals CP.
If we have a look at the table, Oursenal it certainly seems are taking a leaf out of the book of Gog while Goonraiders and Gunrunners can now see the silver lining deeming the first two match days to be the darkest hours before dawn.EG and Arsenalists sit on top with AdDy and other pirates watching them with stealthy eyes.CP now it seems are mediocre which they once so famously tagged their fierce rivals with.With only three matchdays gone it is evident that this Predictor League would be one to remember.
Au revoir till then.
This is Abdul Moiz saying good bye to all who read this
Felipe's exclusive Statement
[Correspondent Felipe Hassan]
While his record signing is still being digested by everybody worldwidely, Felipe remains in silence and working hard on his training ground at his £7m house at Hampstead, following his recent contract with Arsenalists which has just been penned.
Given all the fuss made by the press and rival supporters following the galactic signing, the player preferred to stay at his instead of replying and giving interviews. Close sources to him, however, have revealed the Brazilian born is as focused and determined as he has never been before.
"Felipe has reacted very positively. One would be afraid of such fuss, but he is a world class player and knows how to cope with the pressure", affirmed one of his closest friends. "As for those who doubt him, they are the ones who motivate him. The more the pressure, the more he will deliver. It is as simple as that".
Reports from AFCP Times digged at Felipe's education on and off the pitch, making his friend furious: "Is it a problem to be a gentle? These are tough days in which players lack professionalism, and Felipe is clearly a role model for each one of them. He is as classy on as he is off the pitch".
With all the noise coming from the press and rival fans, Felipe will always manage to impress under any circumstance.
While his record signing is still being digested by everybody worldwidely, Felipe remains in silence and working hard on his training ground at his £7m house at Hampstead, following his recent contract with Arsenalists which has just been penned.
Given all the fuss made by the press and rival supporters following the galactic signing, the player preferred to stay at his instead of replying and giving interviews. Close sources to him, however, have revealed the Brazilian born is as focused and determined as he has never been before.
"Felipe has reacted very positively. One would be afraid of such fuss, but he is a world class player and knows how to cope with the pressure", affirmed one of his closest friends. "As for those who doubt him, they are the ones who motivate him. The more the pressure, the more he will deliver. It is as simple as that".
Reports from AFCP Times digged at Felipe's education on and off the pitch, making his friend furious: "Is it a problem to be a gentle? These are tough days in which players lack professionalism, and Felipe is clearly a role model for each one of them. He is as classy on as he is off the pitch".
With all the noise coming from the press and rival fans, Felipe will always manage to impress under any circumstance.
England Forward signs for Arsenalists!
[Correspondent Abhilasha Dafria]
The transfer window just got bigger with Forward Felipe Hassan, who scored the winner in the last WorldCup final for England, moving hub to The Arsenalists.
The Arsenalists who had a very suspicious transfer window this season have successfully managed to outwit the media. With putting up bids for star players and confusing the market, Captain Ankur has used several tactics than one.
Fazal who played former team Arsenalists last weekend has taunted Arsenalists fans by revealing how Evolutionary Gunners supporters have inspired his impressive start to the season. Arsenalists fans were angered by Fazal’s constant flirtations with the likes of EG, Goonraiders, etc while several players hinted that the dressing room was a happier place without the forward.
But Fazal has made a superb start to life with EG and his equaliser on Saturday took his tally to three goals in three games for his new team.“As soon as you play for a team where the fans love you and are always behind you, you try to give them
something back,” he said.
On being asked about the big replacement becoming a challenge in the soon away match for EG @ the Arsenalists staduim, EG captain Abdulrehman chuckled, " Felipe, no doubt a good player will always be a greater advantage to his opponents when it comes to getting booked. Arsenalists will never get a penalty or free kick, for with Felipe, a simple "sorry" would work."
It would be interesting to see the striker with RCB Sumanth on the ground together, one known for his politness, the other for his self-bans.
Source: TheArsenalists(dot)comm,EvolutionaryGunners(dot)comm
The transfer window just got bigger with Forward Felipe Hassan, who scored the winner in the last WorldCup final for England, moving hub to The Arsenalists.
The Arsenalists who had a very suspicious transfer window this season have successfully managed to outwit the media. With putting up bids for star players and confusing the market, Captain Ankur has used several tactics than one.
Fazal who played former team Arsenalists last weekend has taunted Arsenalists fans by revealing how Evolutionary Gunners supporters have inspired his impressive start to the season. Arsenalists fans were angered by Fazal’s constant flirtations with the likes of EG, Goonraiders, etc while several players hinted that the dressing room was a happier place without the forward.
But Fazal has made a superb start to life with EG and his equaliser on Saturday took his tally to three goals in three games for his new team.“As soon as you play for a team where the fans love you and are always behind you, you try to give them
something back,” he said.
On being asked about the big replacement becoming a challenge in the soon away match for EG @ the Arsenalists staduim, EG captain Abdulrehman chuckled, " Felipe, no doubt a good player will always be a greater advantage to his opponents when it comes to getting booked. Arsenalists will never get a penalty or free kick, for with Felipe, a simple "sorry" would work."
It would be interesting to see the striker with RCB Sumanth on the ground together, one known for his politness, the other for his self-bans.
Source: TheArsenalists(dot)comm,EvolutionaryGunners(dot)comm
Wengaboys Raided!
[Correspondant Abhilasha Dafria]
A match spectator couldnt have asked for more when the lowest ranked team of the league, Goonraiders clashed with the rising-upwards Wengaboys. The match had action, melodrama and a different saga of twist and turns. Goonraiders new signing Vacas Areph was eagerly awaited to debut the match and the crowd's anticipation rose higher when he was seen warming up before the second half. However, being 3-3 in the first half was enough for Goonraider' manager Muffi to not try new players.
Wengaboys on the other hand, put up a brave game in the first 45 mins but came crashing down when defensive Midfielder Saumeet, who just recovered from comma was substituted by Kunal (63"). Kunal played well to keep the attacking Goonraiders at bay but the scenario changed when striker Mitul was red-carded in the last 20 mins. Mitul who was booked for having tripped Moiz was further sent off on having gotten into a brawl with the referee. It is said that he threatened the referee and even said "Main Goli mardoonga" which forced the referee to leave the Wengaboys to be a ten-men squad, a situation, the goonraiders benefited from by two late goals.
The wengaboys official website had recently reported that promising player and new signing, Mitul, was very disturbed on having his latest property being brought down by the government officials on accusation of illegal construction.
The wengaboy striker had started a chain of 5 star hotels, (officially inaugrated on 17th August this year), under the brand name of "----FRIENDS CORNER---(MEMBER LOUNGE-II)"
Source: Wengaboys(dot)comm, Goonraider(dot)comm.
A match spectator couldnt have asked for more when the lowest ranked team of the league, Goonraiders clashed with the rising-upwards Wengaboys. The match had action, melodrama and a different saga of twist and turns. Goonraiders new signing Vacas Areph was eagerly awaited to debut the match and the crowd's anticipation rose higher when he was seen warming up before the second half. However, being 3-3 in the first half was enough for Goonraider' manager Muffi to not try new players.
Wengaboys on the other hand, put up a brave game in the first 45 mins but came crashing down when defensive Midfielder Saumeet, who just recovered from comma was substituted by Kunal (63"). Kunal played well to keep the attacking Goonraiders at bay but the scenario changed when striker Mitul was red-carded in the last 20 mins. Mitul who was booked for having tripped Moiz was further sent off on having gotten into a brawl with the referee. It is said that he threatened the referee and even said "Main Goli mardoonga" which forced the referee to leave the Wengaboys to be a ten-men squad, a situation, the goonraiders benefited from by two late goals.
The wengaboys official website had recently reported that promising player and new signing, Mitul, was very disturbed on having his latest property being brought down by the government officials on accusation of illegal construction.
The wengaboy striker had started a chain of 5 star hotels, (officially inaugrated on 17th August this year), under the brand name of "----FRIENDS CORNER---(MEMBER LOUNGE-II)"
Source: Wengaboys(dot)comm, Goonraider(dot)comm.
The War of Tabloids! [The AFCP Times]
[Correspondent Abdul Moiz]
In a breaking news event a senior official of the "AFCP Times" announced today that there would be weekly editions of AFCP Times from now on wards and there will be a monthly edition too at the end of the month.
The timing of this announcement looks ironic though but when asked about the allegations about the so called FA of Predictor League,the official had this to say
"To be honest with you,I dont see a lot of people complaining.I see only two teams complaining and we all know why that is the case.You know we are here in the media to give the best of the news to our readers when it comes and as it comes.Its upto the readers to decide whether they rate it as truth or no"
He completely rejected the allegation of being favorable to Gunrunners and termed the FA to be completely fake
We are not favorable to any team and are neutral in that respect.The ones complaining are little kids who are afraid that there true self would be exposed through this newspaper.The "fake" FA can do anything they want but still our newspaper would provide news to our readers with the same usual commitment"
The Gun quoted a senior player as saying about the FA
"I for one do not see any problem in the AFCP Times but find it highly amusing.The FA looks more like tilting towards some teams rather than the newspaper itself.I can also tell you that most of the star players themselves have been misquoted by the FA and it is hilarious to see the FA asking a tabloid to be closed"
Sigh Sports sources understand that many teams are lining up bids for Ohio striker Amey Kelkar with his preferences yet to be known.
This is all from this special edition but dont miss our weekly edition which is about to come in the next two days.
[Correspondent Abhilasha Dafria]
On the most eventful occasions when two big tabloids clashed, the GunRunners have released a statement on their official website clearly stating that The AFCP Times have been wrong accused of favoring them.
Team manager Abhilasha Dafria told in a press conference on Wednesday : We have mentioned this before that we are not a Rich club. So we arenot pound-wise and penny foolish either. Shelling-out 1 zimb dollar is ridiculous and merely cheap-shots by the media to defame the club. We would rather spend more on a new quality forward.
When asked to comment on the accusation on Gunrunners having bribed the officials, Rubin, of Oursenal PC refused to comment saying, "Zee, I ze not ze zat incident"
Oursenal PC will be playing The GunRunners, who have lost their first two matches, this weekend.
Source: GunRunners(Dot)com
In a breaking news event a senior official of the "AFCP Times" announced today that there would be weekly editions of AFCP Times from now on wards and there will be a monthly edition too at the end of the month.
The timing of this announcement looks ironic though but when asked about the allegations about the so called FA of Predictor League,the official had this to say
"To be honest with you,I dont see a lot of people complaining.I see only two teams complaining and we all know why that is the case.You know we are here in the media to give the best of the news to our readers when it comes and as it comes.Its upto the readers to decide whether they rate it as truth or no"
He completely rejected the allegation of being favorable to Gunrunners and termed the FA to be completely fake
We are not favorable to any team and are neutral in that respect.The ones complaining are little kids who are afraid that there true self would be exposed through this newspaper.The "fake" FA can do anything they want but still our newspaper would provide news to our readers with the same usual commitment"
The Gun quoted a senior player as saying about the FA
"I for one do not see any problem in the AFCP Times but find it highly amusing.The FA looks more like tilting towards some teams rather than the newspaper itself.I can also tell you that most of the star players themselves have been misquoted by the FA and it is hilarious to see the FA asking a tabloid to be closed"
Sigh Sports sources understand that many teams are lining up bids for Ohio striker Amey Kelkar with his preferences yet to be known.
This is all from this special edition but dont miss our weekly edition which is about to come in the next two days.
[Correspondent Abhilasha Dafria]
On the most eventful occasions when two big tabloids clashed, the GunRunners have released a statement on their official website clearly stating that The AFCP Times have been wrong accused of favoring them.
Team manager Abhilasha Dafria told in a press conference on Wednesday : We have mentioned this before that we are not a Rich club. So we arenot pound-wise and penny foolish either. Shelling-out 1 zimb dollar is ridiculous and merely cheap-shots by the media to defame the club. We would rather spend more on a new quality forward.
When asked to comment on the accusation on Gunrunners having bribed the officials, Rubin, of Oursenal PC refused to comment saying, "Zee, I ze not ze zat incident"
Oursenal PC will be playing The GunRunners, who have lost their first two matches, this weekend.
Source: GunRunners(Dot)com
The War of Tabloids! [FA]
The FA issue dated August 26, by Correspondent Asjad Saleemi:
Cesc Pistols captain AsJaD Saleemi
Wengaboys star Saumeet
and Kunal have claimed that AFCP times is a crap newspaper to read and have claimed that the newspaper has no correct news and have hearby officially claimed that anything they write in their tabloids regarding their teams or the individuals is wrong and should not be believed upon.
AsJaD in a pre match conference was quoted as ROARING "I'd rather go to sleep at time than read that newspaper. It's bullshit to read it, we players meet each other in matches and it's disrespectful for all of us to believe such a newspaper. I'd advise all the fans of the PREDICTOR LEAGUE to stop believing this newspaper as it has nothing concrete and is just based on creating nuisance. They have this habit of favoring Gunrunners because Gunrunners have paid them 1 Zimbabwean Dollar because that's all they can afford whereas other rich teams are least interested in needing a newspaper as they prefer playing neat football than hearing praises in stupid tabloids."
Saumeet said "If that newspaper is good, then I am not a Nerd. It's a disgrace in all fairness, even Tribal AFCPBALL is better which is run by Mamoon"
Kunal said "It's disgraceful for all the teams and I'm sure fans are sensible enough to ignore such a nuisance, we don't give a shit though"
The fans of the AFCP league are taking this into account because obviously the voice of experienced and star players matter to them.
For example, if in the Premier League Cesc or Rooney or Wenger come out and claim that Sky is shit, it would be something every fan would take into account and certain remarks by senior players against AFCP times have changed the minds and opinions of people who loved it and the fans.
This is a serious letdown for AFCP times because it was the names of these players and teams which made the newspaper popular.
Especially in the hometowns of these teams where people have actually started disliking and disbanding this newspaper
Cesc Pistols captain AsJaD Saleemi
Wengaboys star Saumeet
and Kunal have claimed that AFCP times is a crap newspaper to read and have claimed that the newspaper has no correct news and have hearby officially claimed that anything they write in their tabloids regarding their teams or the individuals is wrong and should not be believed upon.
AsJaD in a pre match conference was quoted as ROARING "I'd rather go to sleep at time than read that newspaper. It's bullshit to read it, we players meet each other in matches and it's disrespectful for all of us to believe such a newspaper. I'd advise all the fans of the PREDICTOR LEAGUE to stop believing this newspaper as it has nothing concrete and is just based on creating nuisance. They have this habit of favoring Gunrunners because Gunrunners have paid them 1 Zimbabwean Dollar because that's all they can afford whereas other rich teams are least interested in needing a newspaper as they prefer playing neat football than hearing praises in stupid tabloids."
Saumeet said "If that newspaper is good, then I am not a Nerd. It's a disgrace in all fairness, even Tribal AFCPBALL is better which is run by Mamoon"
Kunal said "It's disgraceful for all the teams and I'm sure fans are sensible enough to ignore such a nuisance, we don't give a shit though"
The fans of the AFCP league are taking this into account because obviously the voice of experienced and star players matter to them.
For example, if in the Premier League Cesc or Rooney or Wenger come out and claim that Sky is shit, it would be something every fan would take into account and certain remarks by senior players against AFCP times have changed the minds and opinions of people who loved it and the fans.
This is a serious letdown for AFCP times because it was the names of these players and teams which made the newspaper popular.
Especially in the hometowns of these teams where people have actually started disliking and disbanding this newspaper
We the Wengaboys!
(correspondent : Abhilasha Dafria)
Wengaboys(dot)com reported that Defensive Mid-fielder Saumeet who went into comma after an injury(brain) during last seasons UEFA final, is back this season for Wengaboys. The manager quoted that Saumeet is now fit as a fiddle and is ready to play for the club. Saumeet made his debut appearance in the opening match against GunRunners where he scored the winner in the added time.
Saumeet also played their second match against Conflagooners(2-2) where he was substituted at half time.(Out : Saumeet; In: Mitul)
On be asked if the manager would risk playing Saumeet often this season, he said, Saumeet is physically perfect though the injury has caused selective amnesia leaving him to believe that the last thing that happened to the club was the UEFA victory. However other team mates and physicians are helping him cope with reality by showing him last seasons league table time to time.
Meanwhile, The GunRunners are still in the race for Ohio Striker Amey Kelkar's services.The deal is said to be 95% done.
Wengaboys(dot)com reported that Defensive Mid-fielder Saumeet who went into comma after an injury(brain) during last seasons UEFA final, is back this season for Wengaboys. The manager quoted that Saumeet is now fit as a fiddle and is ready to play for the club. Saumeet made his debut appearance in the opening match against GunRunners where he scored the winner in the added time.
Saumeet also played their second match against Conflagooners(2-2) where he was substituted at half time.(Out : Saumeet; In: Mitul)
On be asked if the manager would risk playing Saumeet often this season, he said, Saumeet is physically perfect though the injury has caused selective amnesia leaving him to believe that the last thing that happened to the club was the UEFA victory. However other team mates and physicians are helping him cope with reality by showing him last seasons league table time to time.
Meanwhile, The GunRunners are still in the race for Ohio Striker Amey Kelkar's services.The deal is said to be 95% done.
Post Match Analysis- 2
(Reporter:Abdul Moiz)
Another match day ended and with some laziness we are back to give you the best review you would ever get.We are better than the Jamie Redknapp's and Shebby Singh of this world so if you can hear their crap out why cant you read what we have to write?
The second matchday again gave the teams a lesson of not trusting the banker.Take note,Vacas Areph!Most of the teams paid a heavy price while some experienced enough not to trust the good old Akki got the benefit.It was a story of "what if's" for the losing teams while a case of a lot of "phews" for the victors.The gameweek's results have a rhythm about them and consist of a lot of 2's and 1's.
Raided by Evolution?
Goonraiders 1-2 Evolutionary Gunners
This game involves the two teams which are so apart from each other that you will have to cramp your neck in order to see them in one look(well if your neck muscles are weak that is to say!).This game was hyped up from both sides as one was trying to prove that their excuse regarding showing respect to the old citizens was correct and they would be merciless against the team of a certain mercenary! while there was a chance of proving how good E.G can be after getting the title of mediocre at best by the brave Ade lover!
Well the match was played in good spirits with both the teams level till half time but the timely intervention of the "joker" did the trick for E.G and they got a crucial away victory.This defeat should be a good wake up call for the Goonraiders as their silly excuses will get them as far as the bottom of the table while E.G need to get their new signing motivated enough unlike the "Beyonce lover" if they are to mount a challenge for....... a 5th place finish!
Looted at home by the Pirates!
The Arsenalists 1-2 Pirates of the Emirates
Now lets move on to the game which was struck by a controversy even before the kick off.As if shame of losing to their rivals wasnt enough,PoE were proved of doing something only SAF could have thought of and now being compared to him,makes it all the more humiliating.
Well the new signing might have won applause in front of the team mates but we here at the analysis centre feel like some part of the conversation was hidden by the senior states man as the high flying Arsenalist came back to the Holy Earth with a big thud after being looted at home by the Pirates!AdDy you can remove the mask now or do you now dont want us to see that evil grin giving the impression that your deal worked wonders?
Gunned down by a P.C?
Cesc Pistols 1-2 Oursenal P.C
Cesc Pistols who somehow didnt lose on the first match day still have their dreams of remaining unbeaten alive as in their dictionary remaining unbeaten involves getting defeated once.Oursenal somehow managed to score two goals in succession to get a fine victory after a first match day loss but I feel they should not lose hope and replicate the performances of the first gameweek if they want to keep the tradition going.I have got nothing else to say about CP as the pistols can only fire smoke it seems for the whole of the season if recent performances are to be seen.
The Groovers win the race against the Runners!
Groovers of the Groove 2-1 Gunrunners
I believe that lady luck can only do its charm until a certain time and my belief is being proved correct by the team itself.Its their second lost in a row and I dont see them winning much if they cant win against a team which gave them seemingly the home advantage.Gog can be termed lucky as their captain did try his best to bring down the new signing Sairam in the last moments of the game but Sairam himself refused to get fouled claiming that he would not get bullied even if he is new to the game.
Well one can only hope that the DVD which was promised by Eric would have at least something positive for the Gunrunners to point out!
Wengaboys could not finish the cornflakes!
Wengaboyz 2-2 Conflagooners
The most interesting match of the week came from the LOS[Lane of shit stadium] where Wengaboys could not take advantage of the absence of master passer "Naboue".Conflagooners have a depleted squad it seems with players arriving at the ground only after the match is finished.However kudos to Conflagooners who got away with a draw against the kitty's men.
This game showed that Wengaboys might just be a force to reckon with but Spuds give the same impression right now but we all know where they will be at the end of the season.Another reason for a below average performance by Conflgooners might have been the fact they became over joyed and celebrated a little too much after their derby win..They need to come back on track now if they dont want to see the Pirates holding the crown at the end of the season
In the end having a look at the table,I have to give it to GR and GR for letting other teams not get in the relegation zone while EG need to watch out their backs!
This is Abdul Moiz signing off from the analsis centre with a nighty night written all over his face.
Another match day ended and with some laziness we are back to give you the best review you would ever get.We are better than the Jamie Redknapp's and Shebby Singh of this world so if you can hear their crap out why cant you read what we have to write?
The second matchday again gave the teams a lesson of not trusting the banker.Take note,Vacas Areph!Most of the teams paid a heavy price while some experienced enough not to trust the good old Akki got the benefit.It was a story of "what if's" for the losing teams while a case of a lot of "phews" for the victors.The gameweek's results have a rhythm about them and consist of a lot of 2's and 1's.
Raided by Evolution?
Goonraiders 1-2 Evolutionary Gunners
This game involves the two teams which are so apart from each other that you will have to cramp your neck in order to see them in one look(well if your neck muscles are weak that is to say!).This game was hyped up from both sides as one was trying to prove that their excuse regarding showing respect to the old citizens was correct and they would be merciless against the team of a certain mercenary! while there was a chance of proving how good E.G can be after getting the title of mediocre at best by the brave Ade lover!
Well the match was played in good spirits with both the teams level till half time but the timely intervention of the "joker" did the trick for E.G and they got a crucial away victory.This defeat should be a good wake up call for the Goonraiders as their silly excuses will get them as far as the bottom of the table while E.G need to get their new signing motivated enough unlike the "Beyonce lover" if they are to mount a challenge for....... a 5th place finish!
Looted at home by the Pirates!
The Arsenalists 1-2 Pirates of the Emirates
Now lets move on to the game which was struck by a controversy even before the kick off.As if shame of losing to their rivals wasnt enough,PoE were proved of doing something only SAF could have thought of and now being compared to him,makes it all the more humiliating.
Well the new signing might have won applause in front of the team mates but we here at the analysis centre feel like some part of the conversation was hidden by the senior states man as the high flying Arsenalist came back to the Holy Earth with a big thud after being looted at home by the Pirates!AdDy you can remove the mask now or do you now dont want us to see that evil grin giving the impression that your deal worked wonders?
Gunned down by a P.C?
Cesc Pistols 1-2 Oursenal P.C
Cesc Pistols who somehow didnt lose on the first match day still have their dreams of remaining unbeaten alive as in their dictionary remaining unbeaten involves getting defeated once.Oursenal somehow managed to score two goals in succession to get a fine victory after a first match day loss but I feel they should not lose hope and replicate the performances of the first gameweek if they want to keep the tradition going.I have got nothing else to say about CP as the pistols can only fire smoke it seems for the whole of the season if recent performances are to be seen.
The Groovers win the race against the Runners!
Groovers of the Groove 2-1 Gunrunners
I believe that lady luck can only do its charm until a certain time and my belief is being proved correct by the team itself.Its their second lost in a row and I dont see them winning much if they cant win against a team which gave them seemingly the home advantage.Gog can be termed lucky as their captain did try his best to bring down the new signing Sairam in the last moments of the game but Sairam himself refused to get fouled claiming that he would not get bullied even if he is new to the game.
Well one can only hope that the DVD which was promised by Eric would have at least something positive for the Gunrunners to point out!
Wengaboys could not finish the cornflakes!
Wengaboyz 2-2 Conflagooners
The most interesting match of the week came from the LOS[Lane of shit stadium] where Wengaboys could not take advantage of the absence of master passer "Naboue".Conflagooners have a depleted squad it seems with players arriving at the ground only after the match is finished.However kudos to Conflagooners who got away with a draw against the kitty's men.
This game showed that Wengaboys might just be a force to reckon with but Spuds give the same impression right now but we all know where they will be at the end of the season.Another reason for a below average performance by Conflgooners might have been the fact they became over joyed and celebrated a little too much after their derby win..They need to come back on track now if they dont want to see the Pirates holding the crown at the end of the season
In the end having a look at the table,I have to give it to GR and GR for letting other teams not get in the relegation zone while EG need to watch out their backs!
This is Abdul Moiz signing off from the analsis centre with a nighty night written all over his face.
Pirates caught Red handed!
Pirates bribe to Akki Chachu of Arsenalists was caught live by CCTV in Gwhatti.
GunRunners in race for Ohio Striker!
GunRunners are in talks with sensational buying of Ohio striker Amey Kelkar.IF signing does take place, it will be the most expensive signing of the club.On asked about the status of the deal, club spokesperson, Abhilasha Dafria said : We are not a rich club, so we would deal with our internal solutions. If the Amey does come in, it probably will be for a pay-cheque modest enough to pay for his Mumbai trip
It is speculated that the Ohio striker is in Mumbai for his Medical.
--GunRunners(dot)com.
It is speculated that the Ohio striker is in Mumbai for his Medical.
--GunRunners(dot)com.
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