Team Review-Season 5

10.Oursenal P.C. [From heroes to zeroes]
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Oursenal P.C. were a kind of a surprise package when they did the double in Season-4,bringing the CL home too.With their captain Rubin,named after great things,showing his greatness and Aditya chipping away consistently at the opposition defenses,Oursenal formed a formidable team but then they were hit by the champions’s curse.A season of glory was followed by a season of misery.With Rubin getting kidnapped and Aditya getting ill with an unknown disease,Oursenal gave away many walkovers.In stepped Sahil-the poll magician-to magically get himself to become the stand-in captain of the champions.His magic might have cleared a lot of others from his path to captaincy but his magic could not get them out of relegation.
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Sahil describes his team’s own season as:
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I would rate our season pretty bad and disappointing. I joined the team in the middle of the season, but didnt found the playing time as our Captain was nowhere to be season. But then i weaved my magic and took over the team, but found it very difficult as my magic got Rubin and Aditya both injured and me being not familiar with our playing style conceded easy wins.
I think long term absentees and my magic were the reason of our dismal performance last season.


9.Conflagooners[Eaten like Cornflakes]
Conflagooners,a big team,being the starting point for so many legends of the game,it was a sorry sight to see Conflgooners getting relegated.Captain Saby,VC Abhimanyu and Kartik were not able to save the team as they were looted by the Pirates,raided by Goonraiders,Arsenalised by Arsenalists,Gunned down by Pistols and pissed over by the boys.Conflagooners only good time was when they defeated the Pirates in a great matchup.Excuses were thrown out like ‘we have less players and bla bla’ but in the end the retired Naboue,Vittal and Fuad were let down by the current team of zeroes.
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When we tried to approach the captain,he broke our camera and smashed away our mike and ran away like a kid whose pants are down.
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8.Gunrunners[High profiles-low points]
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Gunrunners,commonly known as Relegation Runners,lived upto their name as they gave the relegated teams a run for their money for the relegations spots once again.After an excellent start to the season which saw them threatening the mighty Arsenalists,it all ended pretty badly as captain Abhilasha Dafria was left ruing missing out on Felipe and Amey Kelkar.Despite the poor performances,the team remained in the spotlight for their mega money signings like Jagadeesh,Sajit and Sairam.There was a lot oexpected from the team with these signings but the constant misfiring of the captain was responsible for such a torrid display.It is widely thought that the charming lady spends more time polishing her nails then giving attention to team strategies and other important stuff.It seems that the lowly 8th position even maybe an overachievement for the Gunrunners outfit as their captain Abhilasha Dafria said:
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It was a great season,we accumulated a lot of great players on such a low budget of ten trillion zimbabweon dollars so it was an awesome season for us.

7.Pirates of the Emirates[Wrecked Ship-Game over]
The Pirates of the Emirates,with Addy and Rohan were a joy to watch as they stole points from other teams and looted the beer bottles wherever they found them.It was a below standard season for them as after the departure of the luck charm ‘Mitul’ their ship was in troubled waters from the begin and then those warheads by their ex-employee seemingly drowned their ship.A lowly 7th position was the result of their looting as they were looted by other teams more than they had looted them.This disappointing finish,had the team captain Addy and his team mates so disappointed that they abandoned the pirated ship and sung
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We lost,we lost and lost again
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We were plundered and looted again and again
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We cant take the police sticks anymore
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So we abandon the ship to drown alone
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Abdul Rehman,EG captain was surprised to see PoE finished 7th.
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I was surprised to find their ship in troubled waters though happy too,these fucking pirates had even stolen my beloved luxurious underpants!
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6.Goonraiders[Mediocrity personified]
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After qualifying for UEFA PL for this season,better things were expected of this outfit.With youth gaining enough experience to step a level,Goonraiders were in a good position to tell the world of their arrival.With the signing of Vacas Areph,the got applauds from all corners but the team again proved themselves to be not good enough and now rightfully claim the ‘mediocre’ tag.Vacas Areph’s signing proved to be a flop as the dictator didn’t like himself being dictated by the referee and his constant sending offs made it worse for the team.With injuries to Moiz and Mufaddal at the business end of the season,Goonraiders finished at a very disappointing 6th.
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VC Moiz had this to say:
We had an average season,similar to the last one.Many good wins but some howlers too.Seeing that we had the second best GD tells a lot.Being mediocre is still better than getting relegated everyother season,aint it?

5.Groovers of the Grove[Safety first]
It’s a team which is isnt talked about much except for their safety predictions.Having an enormously gifted captain,Groovers were looking to have a better season than the last as the relegated team of last season put in consistent displays with Paul alone hitting goals from 70 yards.Gog have a mysterious playing style,turning up on the ground earlier than the referee,score goals,mark them on the scoreboard and leave.When the opposing team arrives,they rest seeing that they got a walkover but when the scoreboard gets seen for final score,Gog win comprehensively but this trick sometimes fails and when it does,Gog get smashed.
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Yet no one can deny that even if Paul is hungry for the limelight,his silent and consistent performances do dent the opposition teams big time.Praising the captain of Gog,Paul, Saumeet said:
"He plays for the whole of AFCPL.We are trying to lure him in if possible,lets see if the lure of money would be too much for him or no."
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Paul himself reflected back on the season like this:
"It started off pretty bright,went on a mini unbeaten run but then things kinda waned off."
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In all i'd say average.
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4.Evolutionary Gunners[Above average]
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After the unpopular signing of Fazal,EG captain said that his team was complete and they would leave the mediocre performances of seasons behind them and get the mediocre tag off them.They started the season with impressive form as Fazal banged in goals for fun but then as Fazal’s passion for the game ended,so did the good form and they struggled for results but a good spanking by AR to Fazal got the whole team going and Munna’s tears on finishing fourth were worth enjoying.Never the less,it was not a good season for them at the rivals front as they finished a point behind arch rivals CP.
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EG captain,AR seemed happy enough with the season’s performances
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Very Good.Finishing 4th is better than the championship,atleast we wont be jinxed for next season.

3.Wengaboys[Machester City-Second coming]
You don’t get to see such mass over haul in teams many times so many people were graced to see such money flying from the pockets of Wengaboy’s team.It was surprising to see the comeback of Saumeet who was welcomed back after a brain injury but then the signings of Mitul and Kunal confirmed the suspicion that the big fat paychecks had lured the likes of Kunal and Karthik to even just pull on the multicolored shirt of Wengaboys on their backs.The season started with ‘Wengaboys shall prevail” but the old traditions of WB in the relegation zone prevailed and the abysmal performances continued but then at the business end of the season,the money flew again but it this time it went to the pockets of referees and match officials as a late surge saw them finish in 3rd position.
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Saumeet,their captain reflects on the season gone in this way:
"Good. We were a team with newish players with heavy pay checks and were near or in the drop zone for some time. To finish third in the end with a late flourish of outrageous bonuses was satisfying."

2.Cesc Pistols[Where did you come from?]
Cesc Pistols who had long been boasting of an unbeaten season with only one defeat,achieved another feat which we would be forced to hear season after season.This time they might have missed out on the championship but after the relegation of last season,Cesc Pistols looked set for another abysmal display but then came results after results with Rahul Sharma and Shishir scoring goals and even after Asjad’s best efforts to give away the games,Cesc Pistols won a string of games and found themselves chasing the Arsenalists for the title though they missed out on the trophy but their effort was praiseworthy.Maybe,Asjad’s jinx doesn’t work everytime or maybe the league’s standard have fallen bigtime.
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Ankur of Arsenalists was quite surprised at CP’s awesome performances in Season-5:
Since the departure of their best player Kamal, they have been absolutely shite. So, it was a surprise when they were close to the top of the table
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Even Paul was stunned to see the water pistols riding so high: From being nearly relegated to 2nd in the league,surprising indeed!
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Abdul Moiz,the VC of Goonraiders was also surprised at this display: I was kind of stunned to find them second.I first looked at the bottom half and saw Pistols nowhere and thought ‘Oh!This table has a mistake,they havent included the Pistols in it.’So,it was a huge surprise indeed to see the misfiring bullets in the second spot !!

1.The Arsenalists[The Champions]
Having an excellent mixture of about every kind of player that one can get in a team,Arsenalist won the championship title which they were due.After finishing so close to the top many times,winning it at last was an achievement which didn’t surprise many.Having the experience of Akshay-be it in old hindi songs,the tenacity of Sumanth,the cocky Rudra,the rookiness of Aamir and the politeness of Felipe and the calmness of Ankur,you gotta say this team were the best,but what was so special in this team that made them champions?When we asked Ankur about this,he said
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I wont spill the beans.i'll skip this one.
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This makes it all the more interesting.Some wild guesses conclude that the close contact of Felipe and Akshay with the dictator got them that cutting edge.Whatever be the case,the champion’s captain concludes the season perfectly
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Being the Champions, I would rate our season even more than Good, maybe even Best Ever seeing that we all got 5 GFs each for this display
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